Tuesday, January 25, 2011
Motivating an Aspie to do what you want, when they don’t want to do it can be difficult. No… it can be down right impossible. You see, negative consequences simply do not work well with them. You have to motivate them by using positive goals and support.
My daughter would not pick up her room. If I tried to force her to do it, she’d end up rolling on the floor crying and screaming. If I tried to threaten her, she’d end up laying on the bed playing with a toy and “forgetting” that there was a consequence and crying when she got in trouble.
Aspies get overwhelmed and even those who are high –functioning, like my daughter, devolve a bit when they hit their overload point.
My daughter goes through the obsessive phases and I remember when she was obsessed with pirates. She would dress as a pirate. She only wanted pirate books. She wanted to watch pirate movies… etc. You get the idea.
Well, I decided to use that to my advantage. I said, “well, as a pirate you need a treasure! Right?” and she whole-heartedly agreed. So I told her that I would give her tasks and for each task she completed, she would get a quarter. I then gave her a bucket to keep her “booty” in.
This worked really well, while she was in the pirate phase. Then one day I said, “ok, are you ready for a quarter?” and she said, “Yes” and I said, “Ok, go put all the shoes in your room in the closet neatly.” And she said, “oh, no, I don’t want a quarter anymore.” And poof, the pirate phase was over and she was moving on to ballet… and the quarters simply didn’t motivate her.
What are some tricks or experiences you have to motivate your Aspie?